December 2025 Issue: Dividends — It’s a F__King Twilight Zone!
The opening scene is not calm. It’s a trader’s blur of red screens, urgent whispers, and another earnings call gone wrong. In this market, one offhand word from a CEO can erase a quarter’s worth of gains. Welcome to the era of overreaction — where every misstep is punished, and every payout is proof you believed in the long game.
Every payout is proof you believed in the long game.
This piece is a practical, immersive guide for imperfect times. It’s written for investors who still believe fundamentals matter — those who see dividends not as relics of an old market, but as beacons in a feedback loop gone mad. DIVIDEND: It’s a F__King Twilight Zone! isn’t theory; it’s survival literature for the modern investor. Each chapter blends the grit of market realism with frameworks for income resilience — payout discipline, coverage math, capital efficiency, and valuation sanity — all wrapped in the language of conviction.
At its core, this book argues that dividends are the truest algorithm of belief. They don’t lie. They can’t be faked. They mark companies that return cash because they can — not because they have to.
December Dividend Payouts — Screen Preview
These are the names paying investors to stay calm while everyone else panics. (Quarterly payments shown below; volatility adjusted for 12‑month standard deviation.)
| Sector | Ticker | Dividend Date | Volatility | Payment | Yield % | P/B | Payout Ratio % | Margin % | P/E | Category |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Basic Materials | ALB | 12/12/25 | 60.34% | $0.41 | 1.6 | 1.6 | — | −3 | — | Chemicals – Specialty |
| Consumer, Non‑cyclical | BTI | 12/30/25 | 23.98% | $0.75 | 5.4 | 2.0 | 87 | 14 | 30 | Tobacco |
| Consumer, Non‑cyclical | MRK | 12/15/25 | 26.08% | $0.81 | 3.7 | 4.2 | 43 | 34 | 11 | Medical – Drugs |
| Consumer, Non‑cyclical | KO | 12/01/25 | 15.56% | $0.51 | 2.9 | 9.7 | 67 | 31 | 23 | Beverages – Non‑Alcoholic |
| Consumer, Non‑cyclical | PEP | 12/05/25 | 21.25% | $1.42 | 4.0 | 10.1 | 106 | 11 | 27 | Beverages – Non‑Alcoholic |
| Consumer, Non‑cyclical | GILD | 12/15/25 | 28.33% | $0.79 | 2.7 | 6.8 | 37 | 36 | 18 | Medical – Biomedical/Gene |
| Energy | CNQ | 12/12/25 | 26.89% | $0.42 | 5.2 | 1.6 | 73 | 24 | 10 | Oil – Exploration & Production |
| Energy | SLB | 12/03/25 | 33.98% | $0.29 | 3.1 | 2.2 | 44 | 14 | 14 | Oil – Field Services |
| Financial | BAC | 12/05/25 | 22.83% | $0.28 | 2.1 | 1.4 | 28 | 30 | 15 | Diversified Banking |
| Financial | NLY | 12/31/25 | 18.56% | $0.70 | 12.9 | 1.1 | 129 | 24 | 10 | REITs – Mortgage |
| Industrial | APH | 12/16/25 | 36.82% | $0.25 | 0.7 | 14.1 | 21 | 24 | 48 | Electronic Connectors |
| Industrial | JCI | 12/22/25 | 22.89% | $0.40 | 1.3 | 6.2 | 42 | 10 | 47 | Building Products |
| Technology | LRCX | 12/03/25 | 49.56% | $0.26 | 0.6 | 20.5 | 21 | 33 | 37 | Semiconductor Equipment |
| Technology | QCOM | 12/04/25 | 33.26% | $0.89 | 2.1 | 8.7 | 71 | 28 | 35 | Semiconductors – Integrated Circuits |
| Utilities | XEL | 12/24/25 | 18.41% | $0.57 | 2.8 | 2.2 | 69 | 17 | 25 | Electric – Integrated |
| Utilities | SRE | 12/05/25 | 22.57% | $0.65 | 2.8 | 1.9 | 78 | 23 | 29 | Electric – Distribution |
The takeaway: volatility is no longer a side note — it’s the whole story. But dividends? They remain the punctuation mark at the end of every chaotic sentence. They tell you which companies have earned the right to exhale.
Featured Video
This video offers a visual deep dive into the themes explored in our book. Watch as we discuss the mechanics of dividends, behavioural traps to avoid, and strategies to maximize your income while preserving capital. Subscribe to our channel for more insights and interviews.
